RAF MILDENHALL, England -- In the business of war, violence sometimes can't be avoided. In fact, millions of Americans bank their lives on the fact that servicemembers will not hesitate to take action when it's required.
Sometimes emotions can erupt like a volcano - but just as the Department of Defense doesn't respond to humanitarian actions with brute military force, Airmen shouldn't react violently in their homes.
When one resorts to violence, whether verbal or physical, maybe it is time to do a self evaluation - maybe life has reached the turning point.
"The cycle of domestic violence knows no social, economic, cultural, or gender boundaries," said Jennifer Inman, 48th Medical Group Family Advocacy outreach manager.
Ms. Inman came to family advocacy in 2009 after providing clinical social work in a level-1 trauma center for nearly a decade, developing a behavioral health program for low-income families and teaching at the University of Texas Graduate School of Social Work.
"I've seen in the civilian and academic world, and am reminded in the military, that just one violent incident can negatively impact both home and career stability," Ms. Inman said.
Why study tirelessly to make stripes, only to lose them in the flare of emotion?
"A wingman should not hesitate to call upon helping agencies to assess family concerns and take appropriate action in order to preserve a family's safety and well-being," said Ms. Inman. "By acknowledging that a problem exists and by seeking help, marriages and careers can be saved."
For that reason, family advocacy and New Parents Support programs offer couples' counseling and many voluntary, non-record generated support services for Airmen and families alike, she said.
"This support is focused on building stress-management skills for teens and adults, enhancing communication and commitment between intimate partners, and supporting parents from the time they are expecting a baby until that baby reaches adulthood," said Ms. Inman, adding that all classes are free, voluntary, and considered medical appointments.
"We collaborate with other agencies to provide family-friendly events on base, like hosting the Suffolk County Council Playbus," said Ms. Inman. "Our services are not only located at our office in the hospital annex at RAF Lakenheath, but at the Health and Wellness, and Airman & Family Readiness centers at RAF Mildenhall and surrounding bases and communities."
By definition, domestic violence and emotional abuse are used in a relationship to control. Partners may be intimate partners, married, separated, divorced, or share a child in common.
According to www.domesticviolence.org, abuse includes but is not limited to name-calling or putdowns, threats and intimidation, keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends, withholding money, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job, actual or threatened physical harm, sexual assault, stalking and intimidation.
Violence can be physical or emotional.
"Emotional violence degrades and damages one's self-esteem and causes psychological distress," said Ms. Inman. "The research on emotional abuse reports that it often coincides with neglect or other acts of violence and has long-lasting negative consequences for victims."
Although both men and women can be abused, most victims referred to family advocacy are women and children, Ms. Inman said. Children who grow up in homes where they witness domestic violence between adults are at risk for being victimized themselves. These children also have a greater chance of perpetuating abusive behavior.
"It is important to recognize that anyone can be a victim of domestic violence," she added. "It is imperative that we recognize and respond to the unique stressors our Air Force families face, like frequent and lengthy deployments."
According to 48th Aerospace Medicine Squadron Public Health figures provided by Senior Airman Carlton Cooper, a total of 2,560 active duty members from RAFs Lakenheath and Mildenhall were deployed from January 2009 through February 2010, said Ms. Inman. An additional 1,700 active duty members deployed from both bases since February 2010.
Risk factors that are exacerbated by deployment include: problems adjusting, social isolation, martial conflict and infidelity, poor communication, lack of family cohesion and connectedness, and worry about the deployed loved one getting killed or injured, Ms. Inman said.
According to an USA Today article, a pregnant woman's risk of developing postpartum depression is 2.8 times higher than average.
"Furthermore, according to an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, moms were 300 percent more likely to hurt or neglect their children during times when their spouse was deployed," Ms. Inman said.
It is imperative that families break their silence and address the cycle of violence now, said Ms. Inman. Team Mildenhall is reminded to look out for each other and intervene when appropriate.
Signs of abuse include frequent unexplained injuries, regular or sudden absence from work or school, personality changes, aggression, submissiveness, and isolation from family and friends, according to www.domesticviolence.org.
"If you think someone you know is being abused, it is important really listen to them, without judgment, and encourage them to seek local help and support," said Ms. Inman, adding that Airmen, civilians and contractors have a legal obligation to report their suspicions to family advocacy or security forces.
"My outreach management colleague, Marie Moore, grew up within an Air Force family and trained as a British social worker," said Ms. Inman. "Her unique perspective has helped me learn so much about how military life impacts family cohesion and how services on and off base work together to provide a safety net of support."
In the military, there are several outlets to deal with inappropriate behaviors, Ms. Inman said. While prevention, education and treatment services are available at any point in the cycle of violence for victims and offenders, committing acts of domestic violence is a crime.
Myth vs. Facts:
M: Domestic violence only happens to poor women and women of color.
F: Domestic violence happens in all kinds of families and relationships. Persons of any class, culture, religion, sexual orientation, marital status, age and sex can be victims or perpetrators of domestic violence.
M: Some people deserve to be hit.
F: No one deserves to be abused.
M: Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife.
F: Domestic violence affects everyone.
F: About one in three American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.
F: 40 to 60 percent of men who abuse women also abuse children.
F: One out of six men will be sexually assaulted in his lifetime.
M: If it were that bad, she would just leave.
F: There are many reasons why victims may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is OK or that the victim wants to be abused.
(Information provided by www.domesticviolence.org)
Did you know?
Historically, females have been most often victimized by someone they knew.
Females 20-24 years of age are at the greatest risk for intimate partner violence.
40 to 60 percent of perpetrators of intimate partner violence also abuse children in the household.
Reporting abuse could save a life.
The following agencies are here to offer assistance and support:
Family Advocacy 226-8070
Mental Health Flight 226-8603
Airman & Family Readiness Center 238-3406
Chapel 238-2822
Sexual Assault Response Coordinator 238-7272
Staff Judge Advocate 238-2028
Area Defense Council 226-3608
National Domestic Violence Hotline - www.ndvh.org
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
Editor's note: The Turning Point is a recurring series scheduled to continue through May 2010. Look for part 4 of The Turning Point on www.mildenhall.af.mil soon.