Commentary: The importance of honest feedback

  • Published
  • By Senior Master Sgt. Shannon M. Thomas
  • 100th Security Forces Squadron first sergeant
RAF MILDENHALL, England --  "Feedback is one of the most critical requirements for sustained high-level performance of any human." - Ferdinand Fournies

Feedback on what we are doing well or what we could be doing better is one of the best ways of helping us improve and grow in both our professional and personal lives.

When we ignore an opportunity to provide feedback we may have missed the chance to help someone improve, which could be beneficial for everyone involved. The best leaders I have worked for have provided both the positive and negative feedback that I needed to hear.

Most people want to hear the truth about how they are doing no matter how difficult it is to hear. Wouldn't you want to know if you could be doing something better? Then why is it so hard to provide feedback? Often we are worried about how the person receiving the feedback will react so we either choose to ignore a situation or we convince ourselves that it was not a big deal.

Here are two thoughts based on my experience that have made feedback easier for me to both give and receive:

1. The reality is that most people already know what you are about to tell them but they need to hear it to validate it. Sometimes validation is all it takes to give people the motivation to change. I have also learned that most people want to be successful. They do not intentionally try to make things more complicated. The problem is that they keep doing things the way they know how and no one has ever told them how they could be doing things better.

2. Listen first ... then speak and keep your emotions in check.  I have found that taking time to listen and gauge how a person feels about a topic can be beneficial as it helps me determine how I am going to approach giving the feedback. Oftentimes we go into conversations with our "get well" solution already prepared and I think that's a mistake. Believe it or not I have been surprised to hear that sometimes the other person will actually say pretty much what I was going to say and solve their own problem right before my eyes. 

It may be hard to give feedback your first few times, but like anything in life the more you practice doing it the easier it will get. On the flip side, if you are the one receiving the feedback, do not let it crush you. Instead, let it motivate you to do better.