The Turning Point: Helping spouses cope with deployment

  • Published
  • By Tech. Sgt. Kevin Wallace
  • 100th Air Refueling Wing Public Affairs
RAF MILDENHALL, England --  Lasting memories of her husband's embrace and recollections of him boarding the plane for Afghanistan were fresh as the young mother made her way down a winding British road, heading to a medical appointment.

With determination, her eyes pierced the lingering fog and remained focused on each bend and wind of the road - all the while her mind was somewhere else. She dreamed of a time and place when things just seemed to make sense.

Before she slipped too far into wondering what her husband was doing out in the rugged Eastern Afghan provinces, a loud grinding sound jerked her back to reality. She pulled as far left as the tiny road allowed and came to a stop as her car choked the last bits of life out of its engine.

What luck!

A broken-down car now complimented the leaking roof at her house, the cough her baby had developed, and the fact that she'd miss yet another scheduled appointment.

"God help me," she cried out, banging her winter-cracked hands against the steering wheel. As a tiny trickle of blood pooled on her torn skin she admitted loudly that her life had most certainly reached the turning point.

Luckily there's help, no matter what the situation.

She remembered a briefing she attended at the Airman & Family Readiness Center where they promised to help during deployments.

Perhaps in addition to receiving the financial tips, she should have signed up for the Hearts Apart Program.

"Through the Hearts Apart program, spouses [and their children] are invited to attend deployment events such as dinners and bowling nights," said Cynthia Harrison, 100th Force Support Squadron A&FRC chief. "They also receive a voucher for a free oil change and basic safety check of their car. They are told about morale calls and how to make them."

Perhaps if her car had been inspected, this young mother could have avoided the road-side trauma. With the assistance of a morale call, rather than pondering what her husband may or may not be doing, she could have had regular contact.

"This year we also have a new deployment pass program," Ms. Harrison said. "With these passes, spouses and children can enjoy activities such as free bowling nights, free youth sports and youth center classes, free space-available childcare, and other free or discounted activities."

The military family life consultant will start a Deployed Spouses Discussion Group in the next week or two, said Ms. Harrison.

"This summer we will have other [deployment] workshops," Ms. Harrison said. "One of them is called Deployment Readiness Process and will allow couples to understand their different personalities, and the strengths and needs that accompany their particular personality."

How can that help during a deployment?

Once they have an understanding of each other, they will then get insight as to how they handle different areas of deployment (parenting, money, household responsibilities, connection and communication) and how their spouse views these same areas, explained Ms. Harrison.

"They are also given interactive kid-friendly materials to take home so they can understand where their kids are coming from and their needs," she continued. "It connects the families with resources and each other."

The A&FRC and MFLC are not the only tools for spouses to utilize. Other resources include:

Sponsors
Key spouses
Chaplains
Staff Judge Advocate (legal office)
The Health and Wellness Center
Family Advocacy
The Education Office

These are just some of the resources available to provide assistance to families who need it most, said Ms. Harrision, who also manages the Year of the Air Force Family program for Team Mildenhall.

Last year, Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Norton Schwartz and Secretary of the Air Force Michael Donley designated July 2009 to July 2010 as the Year of the Air Force Family, a year-long focus on Air Force programs highlighting the importance of and commitment to the entire Air Force family.

"Taking care of families is a solemn promise we make to each Airman and family member," said Secretary Donley during his remarks to the Air Force Sergeants Association in August 2009. All Airmen should have the confidence that they can rely on their fellow wingmen and the Air Force to help care for their families when they are deployed.

For more information on deployment briefings and the programs and assistance offered to spouses, visit the A&FRC, located in Building 460 at RAF Mildenhall. They are opened Monday through Friday from 7:30 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. Further information is available by navigating to The Turning Point page at http://www.mildenhall.af.mil/library/ids.asp.

Additionally, members can call 01638 543406 or DSN 238-3406 for more information or to speak to a member of the A&FRC staff.