Commentary: Deployment gives fresh perspective on needs vs. wants

  • Published
  • By Master Sgt. Tracy L. DeMarco
  • 100th Air Refueling Wing Public Affairs
RAF MILDENHALL, England --  I guess I've always known that people, as a species, are generally selfish. Perhaps we are driven from our caveman days to self persevere. Or maybe we learned as children that we must fight to stand out at home or school.

Recently, I completed 46 missions outside the wire of my base in Afghanistan where I served as the resident photojournalist for the Forward Operating Base Farah Provincial Reconstruction Team. During that time I learned just how blind I was to the level of selfishness in my world.

Fortunately, I did not experience direct enemy contact during my deployment. I only felt its ripple effects. I spent many days in the FOB clinic, photographing our medical personnel attempting to clean up the Taliban's mess. I witnessed several Afghan civilians die on green stretchers.

Specifically, Nov. 20, 2009, a suicide bomber riding a motorcycle detonated in the town of Farah, not even a mile from our base. That morning, 16 Afghans - including the bomber - lost their lives; eight of which died at our FOB clinic.

Those sad days I expected.

What I didn't anticipate was a sad day when I was in transient status, awaiting a flight home at the end of my tour. I was living in a tent on Kandahar Airfield. The temperature was extreme as I walked back to my tent from the dining facility. I had mistakenly lifted the sleeves on my physical training shirt to help catch some of the sweat in my armpits.

Moments later it happened.

A red suburban vehicle driven by an Air Force master sergeant pulled up beside me. The woman power-rolled her passenger side window down so I could see her impressive stripes, hear her music playing and feel the air conditioning spraying.

She then told me that she needed me to put my sleeves down. I quickly complied and never saw her again.

Later I began to think about how she worded her corrective statement. The word "needed" was like a knife to my side. She really didn't need me to roll my sleeves down. What did she need? What did I need? I needed to get home to my family and I was becoming increasingly frustrated as the government overthrow in Manas continued, thus halting my travel plans.

What did those 16 dead Afghan citizens need? What did the people back at my FOB need?

I can't possibly judge that master sergeant. She was in her comfort zone and comfortable car doing what she was familiar with - enforcing Air Force standards. I, however, was familiar with fear and death as a result of my deployment.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for a returning military member who has experienced direct enemy fire or an improvised explosive device strike. How frustrating is it for a person who's been shot at, or seen his or her friend die, to accept a request from a stranger such as "tuck in your shirt"?

As a supervisor, I've always asked my Airmen to keep proper perspective, to try to put themselves in someone else's shoes, to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Perspective has the power to purge selfishness from our workplaces.

The perspective I gained from my deployment to Afghanistan includes several revelations.

On my first convoy, I realized that fear can be pocketed under body armor and calmed by a layer of extremely well trained Army Infantrymen in the Humvee with you. I came to understand that life is as fragile as the thin skull that wraps around our minds, as evident by the numerous head injuries we medically evacuated from our FOB. And, I now foresee the future of the U.S. Air Force, that our role in combat is shifting and we must change our culture - our perspective. Our Airmen need a fresh, selfless perspective.

I am grateful for my deployment. Being away from my family for seven months was heartbreaking, but being able to experience Operation Enduring Freedom, embedded with the Army and Navy near the border of Iran, was unreal. As an Air Force member I felt privileged to be a part of a team that took daily risks to help meet the needs of the Afghan people in our region.

I've been home at my base, RAF Mildenhall for 67 days now. I know that eventually I will fall in line with the master sergeant I had the pleasure of encountering at Kandahar. I will see someone leave the base exchange without her hat on, or I will see a jogger exercising near a roadway with earphones in, and I will stop them. I will enforce standards; its part of my job.

My hope though, for the remainder of my career in the U.S. Air Force, is that I will look beyond the obvious, that I will work to serve those working for me, to meet their needs.

That level of selflessness is what will celebrate the lives of the people I saw perish in Afghanistan and support my fellow service members who are there pushing past their fears while I'm safely at home.