Airmen learn to ask 'Can I Kiss You?'

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Thomas Trower
  • 100th Air Refueling Wing Public Affairs
RAF MILDENHALL, England --  Hundreds of Airmen filled the Hardstand Fitness Center here to learn a serious lesson in a relaxed and sometimes humorous atmosphere March 31.

Mike Domitrz, a motivational speaker, conducts these one-hour programs highlighting safe dating habits and the importance of respect and communication in a relationship in a setting that resembles a combination of a play and seminar, said Rebekah Downs, RAF Mildenhall Sexual Assault Response Coordinator.

"Hopefully, we will make people aware of what consent is," said Ms. Downs. "Consent is central to any relationship, but especially so for intimate issues."

"Why don't more people ask 'Can I kiss you?'" said Mr. Domitrz. "The fear of rejection and awkward moments cannot stop us from doing what is right."

This speaker of over a decade encouraged Airmen to address these issues through a series of role-play exercises with audience volunteers. Scenarios were laid out to illustrate common dating events and how to implement "Can I kiss you" practices.

"It definitely wasn't like a normal briefing," said Airman 1st Class James Seever, 100th Operations Support Squadron and scenario volunteer. "It was entertaining and engaging while touching on a serious subject."

Mr. Domitrz told the audience that one reason people don't attempt to stop inappropriate behavior is because they think that if their friends act the same way that they themselves do, then the actions are justified.

"The program goes wherever the Airmen want it to go," he said. "Audience participation is what moves the program to address relevant issues."

The end of the program highlighted an issue of personal importance for Mr. Domitrz. He explained the options available for military members to report sexual assaults through both restricted and unrestricted routes.

Restricted reporting means no actions are carried out with a case without the permission of the victim. Restricted reporting applies when a victim confides in a doctor, chaplain or the Sexual Assault Response Coordinator, he said. If anyone else is notified of the event, such as a supervisor or commander, unrestricted reporting comes into effect and authorities are required to investigate.

"We have to make sure that all of our loved ones know that we are there for them if they are ever assaulted," said Mr. Domitrz. "Fathers and brothers have to stop telling their daughters and sisters that they will 'kill him.' This only discourages the victim from coming to you because they don't think you can handle it."

"I have to call my cousin and tell her I won't kill anyone," said Airman Seever. "I want her to be able to confide in me if she ever needs to."

Mr. Domitrz said anyone looking for more information or survivor support should visit their Web site www.datesafeproject.com.

Editor's note: No federal endorsement intended.